[ being out in public hasn't gotten much easier. he's not constantly looking over his shoulder anymore but he is on his guard, aware of everyone around him and even the slightest bump or jostle causes an uptick in his heartbeat.
but, he thinks things are getting better. he's getting more sleep and though he'd lost one job, he's working on getting another with jyn's help. so, marcos thinks it's going better. a little more time and maybe he'll totally forget about what happened.
he's been bouncing between places, sometimes staying in a rented room at a brothel, sometimes in jyn's closet just to make sure he can't be tracked and that no one in the safehouse is endangered.
today, he's hoping there's some space in jyn's closet because he's tired and weary and he just wants to sit down and rest. there's a fountain near their apartment that he knows is there and he's started walking past without looking. if he can just get past it, he's okay.
today, there are people ringing the fountain, chatting and eating and just generally enjoying the warm evening. marcos hunches his shoulders and speed up but he doesn't get by before one person gets a little rowdy with his date and tries to splash her.
except he misses and splashes marcos. it's not a lot of water but it hits his face, his eyes, his nose and he's right back on that board, right back to feeling like he can't breathe. he gasps and lurches forward, trying to get out of sight of all these people.
he ends up with one shoulder against the corner of the building, hurriedly trying to wipe the water off. his lungs suddenly feel like they're burning, like they're drowning and while he knows that's not true, he can't stop his mind from thinking it's true.
he just has to breathe. or...wheeze as it is. he just has to catch is breath and he'll be fine. ]
➤ haction jackson; late november
but, he thinks things are getting better. he's getting more sleep and though he'd lost one job, he's working on getting another with jyn's help. so, marcos thinks it's going better. a little more time and maybe he'll totally forget about what happened.
he's been bouncing between places, sometimes staying in a rented room at a brothel, sometimes in jyn's closet just to make sure he can't be tracked and that no one in the safehouse is endangered.
today, he's hoping there's some space in jyn's closet because he's tired and weary and he just wants to sit down and rest. there's a fountain near their apartment that he knows is there and he's started walking past without looking. if he can just get past it, he's okay.
today, there are people ringing the fountain, chatting and eating and just generally enjoying the warm evening. marcos hunches his shoulders and speed up but he doesn't get by before one person gets a little rowdy with his date and tries to splash her.
except he misses and splashes marcos. it's not a lot of water but it hits his face, his eyes, his nose and he's right back on that board, right back to feeling like he can't breathe. he gasps and lurches forward, trying to get out of sight of all these people.
he ends up with one shoulder against the corner of the building, hurriedly trying to wipe the water off. his lungs suddenly feel like they're burning, like they're drowning and while he knows that's not true, he can't stop his mind from thinking it's true.
he just has to breathe. or...wheeze as it is. he just has to catch is breath and he'll be fine. ]