[he squeezes his eyes shut and listens to her breathing. she's right there. she's always right there. he wants to be honest with her, and he's done a pretty good job of it so far.]
[but it's not like they've talked about them much beyond that night he first kissed her. and now he is sitting naked with her on their couch and scrambling to figure out how he's supposed to deal with intimacy and being a real person with a -]
[with a what? jyn to him feels indescribable, but he doesn't know what to do next if he doesn't know. that's the crux of it, it all feels so much bigger than should be allowed. it isn't just sex, but that's more or less all he's ever had. he doesn't know what to ask, what to think, he can't even focus on jyn like he usually does. who knew shoving down all your emotions and pretending everything was fine could possibly backfire???]
[he shudders and breathes in sharply again.] I don't know how to do this.
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[but it's not like they've talked about them much beyond that night he first kissed her. and now he is sitting naked with her on their couch and scrambling to figure out how he's supposed to deal with intimacy and being a real person with a -]
[with a what? jyn to him feels indescribable, but he doesn't know what to do next if he doesn't know. that's the crux of it, it all feels so much bigger than should be allowed. it isn't just sex, but that's more or less all he's ever had. he doesn't know what to ask, what to think, he can't even focus on jyn like he usually does. who knew shoving down all your emotions and pretending everything was fine could possibly backfire???]
[he shudders and breathes in sharply again.] I don't know how to do this.