[ jyn stands with a grimace, stiff and cold, and sits down with the same discomfited expression, obviously sore underneath being upset about... everything. ]
That is what I said. [ what she thought, what she said was something different entirely. ]
The rebellion wins because of rebels.
[ she hated both sides of the fight for so long, but it feels wrong to erase the impact of so many ordinary people. her mama had her do an overly simplistic experiment when she was a child; lyra held a bowl of acid and jyn poured in a chemical base and watched as the combination fizzed and popped. when she was a teenager she saw the empire as the acid, the alliance as the base, the combination bubbling over into violence and death. but a sith turned jedi doesn't neutralize the acid, the base does.
[ it's better that she's closer, even if he's still hesitant about touching her. it's a strange experience, and he usually goes through the opposite - not wanting to touch someone but needing to. ]
There is no rebellion without rebels.
[ that's how rebellions work. it's a network, a collection of people all fighting together for the same goal. leadership is nothing without the people in the field. ]
Even if one man takes out the Emperor, it does not negate everything else we did to reach that point. There are still more people, more of the Empire.
[ he's talking through it for his sake as much as jyn's, because he refuses to believe a single jedi wins a war. even if that was all it took, it doesn't reassure him, because what the fuck took the guy so long? what was he doing in the meantime? ]
[ he stops hesitating and drops his arm around her shoulder, pulling her in against him. no skin contact right now, it's fine. ] There has to be more to it.
[ jyn shrugs under his arm, tucking her head against his shoulder. the immediacy of the comfort that rushes through her should be concerning, but she ignores it.
maybe there is more to it, a more detailed history of a future they'll never get to see, but they have no way of knowing. there are no history books for their galaxy here. there is no way to tell what is truth and what is fiction and even the history books wouldn't be entirely accurate because history books are written by the victors. jyn has no doubt the more questionable dealings of the rebellion were written out entirely, leaving only a gleaming, pristine vision of an alliance fighting for peace, hands clean.
is it any wonder a jedi was held up above all that? ]
Maybe it doesn't matter. We know. [ she says it because she doesn't want cassian to feel the same bitter upset that she feels, tipping her chin to look up at him. ] You did more for the rebellion than they ever should have asked of you. I won't forget.
It still matters. Our choices do matter, Jyn. [ he might not be able to feel it, but he can still tell that something about this awkward little hug helps her. when she leans in, he settles his arm neatly around her, slotting them together almost perfectly. ]
[ he looks down at her, surprised. what jyn says matters more than what anyone from the future might, even if it turns over his stomach with nerves he doesn't understand. ]
I did what I had to. [ he squeezes her shoulders, lest she think he doesn't appreciate it, even if he can't figure out how to say thank you without using the words 'thank you.' he'd probably rather be remembered by jyn than a stranger anyway, with how she still trusts him despite knowing what he has done. he expected to be forgotten. but jyn won't. ] And whatever happens to the Rebellion in the future - we got the plans out. That is important.
It is, [ she agrees, fervent. they got the plans. all of those people on the beach and in the air above scarif, they sent the plans into the galaxy. rogue one told the whole galaxy how to light up the fuse in the death star, they sacrificed everything to get the plans off scarif. no one can take that away from them.
the death star was destroyed because of their actions.
the galaxy should have entire days dedicated to every single man, woman, or otherwise that died on or above that planet. instead there are jyn and cassian, holding the candle in a different galaxy; mon mothma and general draven, bail organa and the entire abashed high council, they would remembered what they did on scarif.
and the empire won't forget either. she saw the realization as it crossed krennic's expression. he knew. the end began on scarif. ]
[ whatever they're thinking, it's a lot and maybe for once in his life, cassian is tired of pretending otherwise. ]
[ he stops just idly holding her around the shoulders and pulls jyn in for a hug, a real one that envelopes her. it's a little awkward with how they're sitting, and it runs the risk of more skin-to-skin touch, but maybe it'll be better. maybe that kind of understanding is best shown through their literal similar feelings. he wraps his arms around her because they are still alive and scarif was important. ]
[ he wants jyn to feel important, that her choices leading to scarif weren't just a footpath to forgotten. ]
[ his arms curl around her and jyn breathes out a shaky breath, circling her arms around him in turn. it's only a moment before her fingers clutch at his back and her arms tighten, drawing him in as her chin tucks against his shoulder.
it seems that every embrace will come with the echo of scarif making her heart sink into her chest like an anchor intent of drowning her in the planet's crystal clear depths. she wishes the shadow of their deaths was eclipsed by the blinding white light of the death star. instead she is left holding cassian and trying to quell the ache in her heart, so much loss and sorrow.
she noses against his neck for a breath, feeling his stubble against her cheek, feeling the understanding that passes between them. they felt the same, but maybe that's natural, so many shared experiences over such a short period of time. ]
[ for a second he thinks he hallucinates what she says, that maybe the empathy bond can put words in his head as well as emotions. it's constantly a comfort to be reminded he's not alone, even if he's started this with the intention of reminding her that. me too. ]
[ his arms tighten around her, trying to chase away scarif and replace it with this instead - this unity and understanding that he's both terrified of and drawn to. he molds into her embrace, ducking his head against hers. ]
[ he doesn't want hugs to make them always think of scarif, so maybe he can just... work on that. there is something appealing in the idea of hugging jyn more often. ]
[ she settles in his arms, feeling the (un)familiar sense of peace wash over her again. she knows where she stands in the galaxy, she doesn't need to know where the galaxy stands with her. rogue one had given her a certainty of self that was shaken by new information, but could not be broken again.
before the beach she hadn't been hugged in years. she isn't even sure that embrace could be considered a hug, it was more like two people grasping at the only thing that made perfect sense in that moment. but this is a hug, for comfort and solace, and jyn doesn't want to give that up for a very long time. so she doesn't. eventually they will break apart and go about their lives like normal, however normal they can manage.
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no subject
That is what I said. [ what she thought, what she said was something different entirely. ]
The rebellion wins because of rebels.
[ she hated both sides of the fight for so long, but it feels wrong to erase the impact of so many ordinary people. her mama had her do an overly simplistic experiment when she was a child; lyra held a bowl of acid and jyn poured in a chemical base and watched as the combination fizzed and popped. when she was a teenager she saw the empire as the acid, the alliance as the base, the combination bubbling over into violence and death. but a sith turned jedi doesn't neutralize the acid, the base does.
the rebels. ]
no subject
There is no rebellion without rebels.
[ that's how rebellions work. it's a network, a collection of people all fighting together for the same goal. leadership is nothing without the people in the field. ]
Even if one man takes out the Emperor, it does not negate everything else we did to reach that point. There are still more people, more of the Empire.
[ he's talking through it for his sake as much as jyn's, because he refuses to believe a single jedi wins a war. even if that was all it took, it doesn't reassure him, because what the fuck took the guy so long? what was he doing in the meantime? ]
[ he stops hesitating and drops his arm around her shoulder, pulling her in against him. no skin contact right now, it's fine. ] There has to be more to it.
no subject
maybe there is more to it, a more detailed history of a future they'll never get to see, but they have no way of knowing. there are no history books for their galaxy here. there is no way to tell what is truth and what is fiction and even the history books wouldn't be entirely accurate because history books are written by the victors. jyn has no doubt the more questionable dealings of the rebellion were written out entirely, leaving only a gleaming, pristine vision of an alliance fighting for peace, hands clean.
is it any wonder a jedi was held up above all that? ]
Maybe it doesn't matter. We know. [ she says it because she doesn't want cassian to feel the same bitter upset that she feels, tipping her chin to look up at him. ] You did more for the rebellion than they ever should have asked of you. I won't forget.
no subject
[ he looks down at her, surprised. what jyn says matters more than what anyone from the future might, even if it turns over his stomach with nerves he doesn't understand. ]
I did what I had to. [ he squeezes her shoulders, lest she think he doesn't appreciate it, even if he can't figure out how to say thank you without using the words 'thank you.' he'd probably rather be remembered by jyn than a stranger anyway, with how she still trusts him despite knowing what he has done. he expected to be forgotten. but jyn won't. ] And whatever happens to the Rebellion in the future - we got the plans out. That is important.
no subject
the death star was destroyed because of their actions.
the galaxy should have entire days dedicated to every single man, woman, or otherwise that died on or above that planet. instead there are jyn and cassian, holding the candle in a different galaxy; mon mothma and general draven, bail organa and the entire abashed high council, they would remembered what they did on scarif.
and the empire won't forget either. she saw the realization as it crossed krennic's expression. he knew. the end began on scarif. ]
no subject
[ he stops just idly holding her around the shoulders and pulls jyn in for a hug, a real one that envelopes her. it's a little awkward with how they're sitting, and it runs the risk of more skin-to-skin touch, but maybe it'll be better. maybe that kind of understanding is best shown through their literal similar feelings. he wraps his arms around her because they are still alive and scarif was important. ]
[ he wants jyn to feel important, that her choices leading to scarif weren't just a footpath to forgotten. ]
no subject
it seems that every embrace will come with the echo of scarif making her heart sink into her chest like an anchor intent of drowning her in the planet's crystal clear depths. she wishes the shadow of their deaths was eclipsed by the blinding white light of the death star. instead she is left holding cassian and trying to quell the ache in her heart, so much loss and sorrow.
she noses against his neck for a breath, feeling his stubble against her cheek, feeling the understanding that passes between them. they felt the same, but maybe that's natural, so many shared experiences over such a short period of time. ]
Me too.
no subject
[ his arms tighten around her, trying to chase away scarif and replace it with this instead - this unity and understanding that he's both terrified of and drawn to. he molds into her embrace, ducking his head against hers. ]
[ he doesn't want hugs to make them always think of scarif, so maybe he can just... work on that. there is something appealing in the idea of hugging jyn more often. ]
no subject
before the beach she hadn't been hugged in years. she isn't even sure that embrace could be considered a hug, it was more like two people grasping at the only thing that made perfect sense in that moment. but this is a hug, for comfort and solace, and jyn doesn't want to give that up for a very long time. so she doesn't. eventually they will break apart and go about their lives like normal, however normal they can manage.
for now, jyn is at peace once more. ]