[ any tidbit of information is hoarded and tucked away like a magpie bringing shimmery, shiny things back to its home. a nest built from tiny stories they both keep hidden, memories too precious to share with just anyone.
it's a warm feeling. ]
You lived on a snowy planet, wouldn't that be every time you came in?
[ half teasing, half genuine. is there a snowy season on planets full of snow? ]
[ he lets himself grin, a tiny bit. ] When I went out to play in it. I assume she just automatically started boiling it up as I went out the door.
[ like how the bathwater is clearly boiling now, the steam rising and fogging up that little corner of of the bathroom. ]
She taught me how to sew. I think. [ he's not sure if that one's real or a hope. sewing was just a necessity across the rebel cells, but he always liked to imagine his mother taught him. ] All our hats were homemade.
[ it's a sweet image, one jyn can clearly envision: tiny cassian, short and chubby, dimple hidden beneath the perpetual few day's growth of his beard visible when he offers a toothy grin as he gambols through the snow, snowflakes sticking in a mop of messy brown hair, probably too long because he couldn't sit still to have it cut.
she isn't going to ask so apart from a holo of him as a child falling from the sky, her image of him is unchangeable. ]
Papa taught me to sew. Mama taught him.
[ back before jyn, on espinar where they met and fell in love in the span of six months, all while surveying the crystals in the cave system. galen had taught jyn on lah'mu while carefully undertaking difficult surgeries to repair her wounded stuffed toys.
saw had taught her later on, retooling stuffed toy care into utilitarian purposes, first aid and clothing. ]
[ she seems to be in a much better mood talking about this, and cassian finds he doesn't feel anything sad bringing up lighter things about his mother. it's not like he talks about her much anyway, and he doesn't mind doing so with jyn. it doesn't feel dangerous, like he's giving away any weaknesses - more like just parts of him he wants to share, for once. ]
It is a very useful skill! You would - or maybe you would not - be surprised by how many people I encountered in all my years who could not sew.
I remember she always insisted I try to repair my own clothes first, once she taught me the basics, but she still went through and fixed them after. [ there's a pause, because does he actually remember that? ] She must have. I was terrible at it until I was probably about ten.
You're good at everything, [ she counters decisively. he doesn't get to contribute to that fact, jyn has decreed it. she hasn't found a single thing he is bad at and while it is infuriating, she also finds it very attractive.
[ like HIMSELF he's so bad at himself. she literally kissed him ten minutes ago and he doesn't know what it means. he is clearly not good at everything when he can fail so spectacularly at that! ]
[ he didn't fail at being kissed, he reacted exactly how jyn wanted him to. it was a success. ]
Can you put bubbles in?
[ not because she particularly likes bubbles -- they are a novelty though -- but because she wants cassian to keep her company while she's in the bath and she thinks he might be uncomfortable if there was nothing keeping her covered up. if it was an emergency she knows that they could both compartmentalize, but this is simply comfort.
and she doesn't relish watching the bathwater turn grey-pink with blood. ]
[ no reaction at all does not seem like a wanted reaction for a kiss, jyn erso. ]
[ if this was shortly after they first moved in, there would be no supply of bubbles, but cassian has since gotten them. jyn likes to take baths, and he thought maybe she would want to try them one day - and there was no reason not to in a place like this. he reaches up and over into a little basket near the bathtub and dumps some of the bubbles inside while it continues filling with water. ]
These are unscented, but I would not want the others to potentially irritate any wounds.
[ again for cassian's benefit because jyn honestly doesn't care and she strips down the moment he turns away, making quick work of her underclothes before she steps around him and into the bath, sinking down into the hot water with a decadent sigh of relief.
[ he doesn't remark on the thinking comment, he can hardly refute it. but then he turns around without thinking, only realizing what she's doing once he hears the water shifting as she climbs inside. ]
[ he thinks about the fact that she kissed him and tries not to think about her now in the bath, barely a few feet away. ]
[ he is not thinking now because he is awkwardly standing there at a loss of what to do next. ]
You could have just asked me to leave. [ which is what he's going to do now, clearly, because it's only polite! he shuffles a little, like he's going to do just that. only cassian andor can overthink thinking. ]
jyn's hand darts out from the bath, bubbles sliding down her arm, to catch cassian's hand, grip like a vise. ]
No, stay. [ she's sunk down so far in the bath only her head and one bent knee are visible through the bubbles, despite being able to stretch all the way out. it is perfectly modest. ]
[ he knows there are bubbles and he knows what she is asking but part of him feels like this is towing the platonic war buddy line. ]
[ she can probably feel some of those flaring nerves from the grip she has on his wrist, but he doesn't fight her, even if he still hasn't quite brought himself to turn back around yet. ]
Can I at least sit down? [ there, because making light of it is much easier. ]
[ that was a stupid question, it deserves a stupid answer. she lets him go, ignoring what she felt through the bond because she doesn't want to think about why he is uncomfortable.
[ it's almost a whine because he is making this! difficult! she just wants company, specifically his. she isn't asking him to climb into the bath with her. that would be uncomfortable! she is only asking him to stay and hang out with her. ]
[ he's not trying to be difficult! he's just being cassian and overthinking it! ]
[ honestly her whine does most of the convincing. ]
I know. I just wanted to double check. [ obviously!! to show he's going to stay, he does turn around - albeit slowly, like he's afraid of where is okay to look. he relaxes once he sees her completely shielded via bubbles. ]
[ he can decide, she just wants the company and maybe some background noise so they don't have to talk, they can hang out with each other in silence. actually more than that... ]
Can I have the kyber back?
[ she feels naked without it, on top of actually being naked. ]
[ time to multitask!! cassian does a cursory search through a handful of mindless tv shows, looking for something distracting enough without reminding either of them about things they want to ignore. ]
[ he loses track of that search when she asks him for the kyber though. ]
Yes, of course. [ honestly he hasn't taken it off since she gave it to him, and he carefully pulls it up and over his head. there's another pause, but he shifts and sits down on the floor beside the tub, high enough that he can still reach her. he leans in and swallows nervously, but he helps her get the necklace back on, retying it at her own preferred length. ]
[ he shoots her a quiet sort of smile. ] I kept it safe.
[ just like she kept herself safe (mostly) and brought herself back to him. ]
[ it feels a little... dangerous, when he leans in to tie the necklace around her neck again. she visibly settles, but when she reaches out to take cassian's hand again, just a quick squeeze this time before she releases him, her comfort level hasn't changed even an iota. she feels just as comfortable with cassian without her necklace as she feels with cassian with her necklace.
cassian is the common denominator. ]
I knew you would.
[ he knew it was important to her, if maybe not how impossibly important it was. of course he would look after her necklace. ]
[ dangerous is a good word for it. he takes care not to let his eyes drop below tying the chord, and as soon as that's done it's back to looking only at her face. he's reassured by the hand squeeze, feeling better that he hasn't crossed any kind of boundary. ]
[ he sits back down outside the tub, shifting to get a little more comfortable. ]
It is important to you. [ but maybe that wasn't the only reason. maybe it offered him his own comfort when she was gone, like having a piece of her with him, a promise for her to return because he had to give it back. he kept it safe because he couldn't keep her safe. ]
[ jyn closes her eyes for a moment, letting the oppressive heat of the water sooth her frayed nerves and sore muscles, drawing out the dried blood and coloring the water beneath the bubbles a dusty pink.
she murmurs for cassian to start the film and eventually shifts, curling half on her side to tuck her head against the side of the bath, one arm draped over the edge so that if she falls asleep cassian can keep her from drowning.
she waits until there is a lull in the film to quietly tell him, ]
[ it's quiet and soft, despite the mess that predated this moment, but that seems par for the course for them both. they can always sit in comfortable silence, evidently even when she is soaking in the bath, and it's only what she says when she breaks that hush that startles him from it. ]
[ he's important to her. ]
[ maybe the only strange part of that after it sinks in is how much he believes her. he trusts her, and she did give him her necklace. he doesn't say anything, but his expression softens, and he lets the quiet wash over them once more, relishing the knowledge that, to at least one person in the universe, he is important. ]
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it's a warm feeling. ]
You lived on a snowy planet, wouldn't that be every time you came in?
[ half teasing, half genuine. is there a snowy season on planets full of snow? ]
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[ like how the bathwater is clearly boiling now, the steam rising and fogging up that little corner of of the bathroom. ]
She taught me how to sew. I think. [ he's not sure if that one's real or a hope. sewing was just a necessity across the rebel cells, but he always liked to imagine his mother taught him. ] All our hats were homemade.
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she isn't going to ask so apart from a holo of him as a child falling from the sky, her image of him is unchangeable. ]
Papa taught me to sew. Mama taught him.
[ back before jyn, on espinar where they met and fell in love in the span of six months, all while surveying the crystals in the cave system. galen had taught jyn on lah'mu while carefully undertaking difficult surgeries to repair her wounded stuffed toys.
saw had taught her later on, retooling stuffed toy care into utilitarian purposes, first aid and clothing. ]
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It is a very useful skill! You would - or maybe you would not - be surprised by how many people I encountered in all my years who could not sew.
I remember she always insisted I try to repair my own clothes first, once she taught me the basics, but she still went through and fixed them after. [ there's a pause, because does he actually remember that? ] She must have. I was terrible at it until I was probably about ten.
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who knew competence was a turn on.
literally everyone but jyn. ]
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No, not everything.
[ like HIMSELF he's so bad at himself. she literally kissed him ten minutes ago and he doesn't know what it means. he is clearly not good at everything when he can fail so spectacularly at that! ]
I just have to be good at a lot of things.
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Can you put bubbles in?
[ not because she particularly likes bubbles -- they are a novelty though -- but because she wants cassian to keep her company while she's in the bath and she thinks he might be uncomfortable if there was nothing keeping her covered up. if it was an emergency she knows that they could both compartmentalize, but this is simply comfort.
and she doesn't relish watching the bathwater turn grey-pink with blood. ]
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[ if this was shortly after they first moved in, there would be no supply of bubbles, but cassian has since gotten them. jyn likes to take baths, and he thought maybe she would want to try them one day - and there was no reason not to in a place like this. he reaches up and over into a little basket near the bathtub and dumps some of the bubbles inside while it continues filling with water. ]
These are unscented, but I would not want the others to potentially irritate any wounds.
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[ again for cassian's benefit because jyn honestly doesn't care and she strips down the moment he turns away, making quick work of her underclothes before she steps around him and into the bath, sinking down into the hot water with a decadent sigh of relief.
this is platonic af. ]
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[ he thinks about the fact that she kissed him and tries not to think about her now in the bath, barely a few feet away. ]
[ he is not thinking now because he is awkwardly standing there at a loss of what to do next. ]
You could have just asked me to leave. [ which is what he's going to do now, clearly, because it's only polite! he shuffles a little, like he's going to do just that. only cassian andor can overthink thinking. ]
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jyn's hand darts out from the bath, bubbles sliding down her arm, to catch cassian's hand, grip like a vise. ]
No, stay. [ she's sunk down so far in the bath only her head and one bent knee are visible through the bubbles, despite being able to stretch all the way out. it is perfectly modest. ]
Keep me company.
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[ she can probably feel some of those flaring nerves from the grip she has on his wrist, but he doesn't fight her, even if he still hasn't quite brought himself to turn back around yet. ]
Can I at least sit down? [ there, because making light of it is much easier. ]
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[ that was a stupid question, it deserves a stupid answer. she lets him go, ignoring what she felt through the bond because she doesn't want to think about why he is uncomfortable.
but... ]
You don't have to stay.
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[ there's a pause. she let him go, but he doesn't make any signs of moving like he had before. ] I don't want you to be uncomfortable.
[ as though she hadn't asked him to stay in the first place! ]
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[ it's almost a whine because he is making this! difficult! she just wants company, specifically his. she isn't asking him to climb into the bath with her. that would be uncomfortable! she is only asking him to stay and hang out with her. ]
We can watch a show.
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[ honestly her whine does most of the convincing. ]
I know. I just wanted to double check. [ obviously!! to show he's going to stay, he does turn around - albeit slowly, like he's afraid of where is okay to look. he relaxes once he sees her completely shielded via bubbles. ]
What do you want to watch?
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[ he can decide, she just wants the company and maybe some background noise so they don't have to talk, they can hang out with each other in silence. actually more than that... ]
Can I have the kyber back?
[ she feels naked without it, on top of actually being naked. ]
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[ he loses track of that search when she asks him for the kyber though. ]
Yes, of course. [ honestly he hasn't taken it off since she gave it to him, and he carefully pulls it up and over his head. there's another pause, but he shifts and sits down on the floor beside the tub, high enough that he can still reach her. he leans in and swallows nervously, but he helps her get the necklace back on, retying it at her own preferred length. ]
[ he shoots her a quiet sort of smile. ] I kept it safe.
[ just like she kept herself safe (mostly) and brought herself back to him. ]
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cassian is the common denominator. ]
I knew you would.
[ he knew it was important to her, if maybe not how impossibly important it was. of course he would look after her necklace. ]
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[ he sits back down outside the tub, shifting to get a little more comfortable. ]
It is important to you. [ but maybe that wasn't the only reason. maybe it offered him his own comfort when she was gone, like having a piece of her with him, a promise for her to return because he had to give it back. he kept it safe because he couldn't keep her safe. ]
I think I found a film.
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she murmurs for cassian to start the film and eventually shifts, curling half on her side to tuck her head against the side of the bath, one arm draped over the edge so that if she falls asleep cassian can keep her from drowning.
she waits until there is a lull in the film to quietly tell him, ]
You're important to me.
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[ he's important to her. ]
[ maybe the only strange part of that after it sinks in is how much he believes her. he trusts her, and she did give him her necklace. he doesn't say anything, but his expression softens, and he lets the quiet wash over them once more, relishing the knowledge that, to at least one person in the universe, he is important. ]