[ isn't that what he was too? a weapon for the rebellion, albeit by his own choice? he weaponized all kinds of things about himself and lost a lot of pieces along the way. ]
And what about now? Do you still think of yourself that way?
[ not a direct answer, but he can read between the lines. what's left, after all that? dutch says she knows what she is, but cassian isn't sure about himself anymore. what's a weapon without a war? ]
[ johnny taught her that there's more to life than death and cold calculations, that she can be warm and have a family and people she cares for. that being a weapon can mean protecting those she cares for, too ]
mostly i want to change who pulls my strings i hate being manipulated
[ better to accuse him of that than to admit that she's desperately, bitingly jealous that at least he knew
what wouldn't she have given. would it have made it easier? -- dutch thinks back to khlyen telling her why is a question a little bird must never ask and knows that it would have.
I did learn how to do that too. I lived more lies than truths sometimes.
[ he's not going to admit to lying Just Now though, don't be silly! of course he's lying about making it easier. he's still a ruin of a human being because of it no matter how noble the cause. ]
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And what about now? Do you still think of yourself that way?
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[ that's a yes. he lost pieces of himself along the way, dutch was forcefully stripped of them. in the end, it makes little difference, does it? ]
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Do you ever want to change that?
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[ johnny taught her that there's more to life than death and cold calculations, that she can be warm and have a family and people she cares for. that being a weapon can mean protecting those she cares for, too ]
mostly i want to change who pulls my strings
i hate being manipulated
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But you can still cut them once you know they exist.
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someone brought us here, someone's keeping us here
[ she's so sick and tired of being manipulated ]
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That is what I am after. If I am going to stay here, I do not want to be manipulated either.
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[ but then, she never told him hers, either. and still, she knows that they're alike. not all the ways in which they are, but that they are. ]
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Except they were not forced on me by a person so much as circumstance.
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[ she figures it's the first more than the last two ]
still shit
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[ there are so many things he learned just because he needed to. he's used his looks for information a lot along the way. ]
It was done to overthrow an empire. But yes. Still shit.
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[ not nearly as much as he pretends. ]
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[ better to accuse him of that than to admit that she's desperately, bitingly jealous that at least he knew
what wouldn't she have given. would it have made it easier? -- dutch thinks back to khlyen telling her why is a question a little bird must never ask and knows that it would have.
it would have been hard in other ways, too. ]
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[ he's not going to admit to lying Just Now though, don't be silly! of course he's lying about making it easier. he's still a ruin of a human being because of it no matter how noble the cause. ]
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But I am told we win eventually.
[ he'll just never get to see it. ]
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i have no idea whether humanity gets replaced or if we win
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[ else why would she be fighting? ]
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