[ to explain the hugging, which she is not ceasing, pressing her cheek to his chest so she can hear the steady beat of his heart. cassian is alive, cassian is whole and uninjured. funny how feeling daisy's pain brought forth trauma she still refuses to process about watching cassian fall. ]
[ his relief to hear daisy is back doesn't go away, but it is tempered if only by how close jyn is. it isn't simple affection she's after. he knows what brought this on as soon as jyn says the word back. ]
[ he could say a lot of things, his own trauma regarding his back buried just as deep as the rest of his past, but jyn doesn't as a rule talk about feelings. he doesn't much either. he's not sure what she might want to hear from him, especially in public. his arms do, however, tighten again around her. ]
The medi-unit will heal it. She will be fine when she gets out.
[ he wasn't. he needed a whole new spine. her fingers find the scar automatically, the way they do in the morning when she wakes from a nightmare about losing him, the crunch crack crash of his bones shattering against the beams echoing through her mind even once he has managed to pull her out of the dream. ]
She was in so much pain. How did you...
[ she knows how, the logistics of it. he took the turbo lift, he stumbled through the steaming, smoking tower to find her. but she can't fathom how he physically managed through all that pain. it should have been impossible. ]
[ oh. okay. she does want to do this now. he might argue that he is fine now, though that's mostly because he doesn't want to be anything but fine. fine is being alive, that's how he's gotten through... most everything. ]
[ he ducks his head a little closer to her ear, just so his voice doesn't carry. ] I was not thinking about making it worse, or what the pain meant. At that point, it did not seem to matter. I was still alive. I had to find you.
[ maybe it was adrenaline mixed with pure determination, he doesn't honestly know how he managed it. maybe he wast just expecting to die anyway, and he didn't want it to happen alone. ]
jyn's stomach flips over, heart fluttering. her grip becomes painfully tight around him, hands fisting against his shirt. one day, maybe, the idea of cassian hurt and in pain will not make her want to throw up from distress, but she hasn't gotten that far yet. ]
[ he still isn't sure what to do with this very public affection, but he hopes she doesn't end up regretting it down the line. his arms continue to rest neatly around her, maybe not as tight, but definitely as anxious from the topic at hand. ]
[ he doesn't know how to say you're welcome or what kind of verbal response might be appropriate. instead he just lets his lips very briefly ghost over her temple. ]
[ jyn doesn't offer any promises that she will continue the trend, that is an understood. she closes her eyes against the tiniest affection, drinking it up despite her inexperience with public displays. any other time she wouldn't allow it, wouldn't have let it get this far, but anxious and panicked, however restrained the emotions were...
after a long silence she draws back, nerves still clear in her stormy green eyes. ]
I should-- you're working.
[ she needs to get a grip. she thinks she probably can now, seeing cassian squashed some of the useless panic the same way his solid presence next to her soothes her nightmares. it's easier to bear with cassian. ]
[ well aware that jyn doesn't usually do this, that he himself prefers that same privacy, it doesn't stop cassian from basking in the quiet affection anyway. still, when she pulls back at last, he follows suit, and the only reason he doesn't run his hands down her arms to wind their fingers together is because he doesn't want to glow the shop up blue. ]
You are fine. Even if someone complains and takes it up with Auden - she likes you. [ his boss likes them both very much, there's very little cassian could do to get in trouble on that front. he does good, competent work. ] Are you okay? It will not be much longer, if you want to meet me in the park down the street.
[ he offers her an easy out, reassurance that he isn't going to take a long time, but jyn is reluctant to leave. she'd had to leave daisy at the medi-unit with dr strange -- who she doesn't particularly like -- and she can't go to illya for company because she can't tell him yet (and because she's been kind of a dick to him) and she doesn't have any other friends.
(she does, they are not her housemates, she can't think of them right now.) ]
Could I stay?
[ watch him work, hand him tools, keep him company. ]
[ he isn't surprised exactly, not with the nature of the affection and conversation so far, but he's still pleased when she decides she wants to stay instead. he smiles at her gently, then nods. ]
Yeah. [ he would always love for jyn's company, and it's not the first time she's hung out while he worked either. ] I would like that too. Good thing you know all my tools by now.
[ it doesn't take much more than that for jyn to say, he said yes and she isn't going to question it, not anymore. as such, she moves to where he was working and folds down to sit cross-legged next to his toolbox. ]
Keep this up and Auden should put me on the payroll. I can be your apprentice.
[ no, she wouldn't like it and she likes that they have separate lives and interests. ]
[ he relaxes with her there. not that he was tense on the job, but it's easier to be less hyper-vigilant when jyn is around simply because he trusts her at his back. ]
You would have to listen to me to be my apprentice.
[ he knows it'll never happen, so he doesn't mind teasing her about it. ]
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[ to explain the hugging, which she is not ceasing, pressing her cheek to his chest so she can hear the steady beat of his heart. cassian is alive, cassian is whole and uninjured. funny how feeling daisy's pain brought forth trauma she still refuses to process about watching cassian fall. ]
She was hurt, her back, she's in a medi-unit now.
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[ he could say a lot of things, his own trauma regarding his back buried just as deep as the rest of his past, but jyn doesn't as a rule talk about feelings. he doesn't much either. he's not sure what she might want to hear from him, especially in public. his arms do, however, tighten again around her. ]
The medi-unit will heal it. She will be fine when she gets out.
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She was in so much pain. How did you...
[ she knows how, the logistics of it. he took the turbo lift, he stumbled through the steaming, smoking tower to find her. but she can't fathom how he physically managed through all that pain. it should have been impossible. ]
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[ he ducks his head a little closer to her ear, just so his voice doesn't carry. ] I was not thinking about making it worse, or what the pain meant. At that point, it did not seem to matter. I was still alive. I had to find you.
[ maybe it was adrenaline mixed with pure determination, he doesn't honestly know how he managed it. maybe he wast just expecting to die anyway, and he didn't want it to happen alone. ]
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jyn's stomach flips over, heart fluttering. her grip becomes painfully tight around him, hands fisting against his shirt. one day, maybe, the idea of cassian hurt and in pain will not make her want to throw up from distress, but she hasn't gotten that far yet. ]
Thank you, for coming back for me.
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[ he doesn't know how to say you're welcome or what kind of verbal response might be appropriate. instead he just lets his lips very briefly ghost over her temple. ]
Thank you for always having my back.
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after a long silence she draws back, nerves still clear in her stormy green eyes. ]
I should-- you're working.
[ she needs to get a grip. she thinks she probably can now, seeing cassian squashed some of the useless panic the same way his solid presence next to her soothes her nightmares. it's easier to bear with cassian. ]
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You are fine. Even if someone complains and takes it up with Auden - she likes you. [ his boss likes them both very much, there's very little cassian could do to get in trouble on that front. he does good, competent work. ] Are you okay? It will not be much longer, if you want to meet me in the park down the street.
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(she does, they are not her housemates, she can't think of them right now.) ]
Could I stay?
[ watch him work, hand him tools, keep him company. ]
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Yeah. [ he would always love for jyn's company, and it's not the first time she's hung out while he worked either. ] I would like that too. Good thing you know all my tools by now.
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Keep this up and Auden should put me on the payroll. I can be your apprentice.
[ no, she wouldn't like it and she likes that they have separate lives and interests. ]
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You would have to listen to me to be my apprentice.
[ he knows it'll never happen, so he doesn't mind teasing her about it. ]
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You're right, I've changed my mind.
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[ he can't kiss her on the job to get her to listen! ]
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[ a sweet smile, sweet because she knows that she's generally a grumpy butthead and he loves her anyway. ]
Alright, get back to work before Auden starts thinking I'm a bad influence.
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Oh, you are definitely a bad influence, but it is fortunate we both like you anyway.