I thought if I could make my feelings small I wouldn't be hurt by them, but instead they died and... it's hard, growing them back.

[ she is a good gardener when it is soil and water and bright green leaves her dirty hands are coaxing to life, but when it comes to herself... she'd thought, honestly, that she had lost the ability to feel, that she had tucked emotion so far back in her mind that she forgot it was there until everything that happened after she'd been broken out of prison had blown up the door in her mind and everything exploded.

she's been careful to keep her grieve contained, tucked away again, but it's been harder to control all of her other emotions, harder to make them easier to deal with. ]

I don't want to ignore them either but it's-- I don't-- Force, I love you, Andor.

[ her head snaps up, expression as startled as a paralope in headlights. did she just say that. ]