[ and that is when jyn opens the compartment, standing in the open doorway with her eyebrows already arched. there is cassian, in the process of sitting down. ]
[ in she gets, sitting down next to him when she literally has a whole other side of the compartment free to lounge on. why would she take advantage of that. ]
I'm fine. Not so much as a scratch.
[ weird headache and some ??? texts from daisy, but. she's fine. no wounds to speak of though her arm is aching like it was mauled and she is being very ginger with it. ]
[ he does not even notice how weird it might be that she sits next to him, simply because they've been circling so closely since even before they arrived in new amsterdam. ]
Are you sure? Did something happen to your arm?
[ how did he notice in these few seconds that she is being extra careful with her arm movements?? a mystery.mp3 ]
It hurts, but no. [ she pulls up her sleeve to show him that she doesn't have so much as a bruise. ] Maybe I hit it falling down when I fell asleep. Have you looked at the network?
Everyone is here.
[ she is positive he already knows and has been keeping tabs on the post. not everyone was a volunteer. ]
[ he gives her a Look. do you think he missed that sudden deflection, jyn?? ] It was hurting when you woke up?
[ NICE TRY ERSO. ]
I noticed that, yes. If I am not mistaken, we were supposed to be only roughly two dozen. There does not seem to be a reason for everyone to be on board now, only that we have all woken up this way - similarly to mysteriously getting pushed out of the van, sans the drugs.
[ she holds out her arm for him to examine at his leisure because a. she knows he isn't going to entirely believe him about being uninjured because she has a tendency to ignore and b. she doesn't know how to prove it otherwise since her arm really isn't visibly injured. ]
[ well! don't mind if he does then! he reaches over without thinking, fingers gentle as he double checks her arm just to reassure himself. ]
[ it's not that he forgets that touching people creates that empathy bond so much as maybe he doesn't always factor it in to his defenses when he's with jyn. which is why he's surprised when he gets that wave of comforted feelings, almost exactly what he'd felt in the dream when she'd taken his hand. it tempers his own concern though, and he realizes she can probably tell. ]
[ he pulls his hand back and mumbles an apology. ] I suppose I do not see anything.
[ cassian draws his hand back and jyn suddenly feels a loss, feeling a swirl of emotions settle uncomfortably in her belly. the comforts is familiar and she wants it back. automatically, jyn reaches out and takes his hand, twisting their fingers together so he's
[ she reaches for his hand again, and he's so startled that he doesn't fight it, simply lets their fingers fold back together. ]
[ the biggest thing he feels right now is surprise. the comfort he gets from her touch tempers it, but he's still puzzled that she would want to keep holding him. it doesn't mean it isn't reassuring at the same time, especially once he feels the comfort she herself draws from it. ]
[ he's a comfort. that's a surprise too. ]
I did. Quite often, actually. But I am used to that happening.
[ jyn and daisy have a house because of dream graffiti -- and she will get to that -- but she has never been able to retain dreams very well so she is kind of struggling to piece together what happened when she was passed out next to the sink. ]
Was I there?
[ she remembers snow and cassian and this feeling -- warmth and comfort and closeness -- but. maybe it was simply her own dream. maybe she invented the stories of his family to make herself feel less alone, like they are more alike, like someone else understands being alone for so long that the parts of you that know how to care for someone else, how to be cared for, start to atrophy from years of disuse.
or maybe it was real and the parts of her that had died to protect herself from a lifetime of loss and abandonment can be slowly coaxed back to life. ]
[ he regards her curiously, because the question is too specific especially in this weird 'suddenly awake' situation going on. ]
For part of it, yes.
[ he remembers it too - that comfort and closeness and ease at being with her, the touch of her hand that allowed him to push forward inside his house, something that always makes him apprehensive in dreams. ]
Do you - remember what I told you?
[ it doesn't seem possible, but there are a lot of things about this train ride already proving impossibilities exist. he finds, maybe against any better judgement, that he wants her to remember. there was something about sharing that entire experience with jyn that he suddenly wants very much to be a real thing. ]
[ she really would like it to have been real, some shared delusion in the snow. it would be the only redeeming quality of the snow. there's a frisson of anxiety, that cassian is going to tell her that none of it was true and he really spent the dream telling her about ducks across the galaxy. ]
[ she mentions his family, which is the most concrete proof she was really there. he... never talks about his family. except apparently in his dreams with jyn. ]
[ he breathes in a little deeply, like he's suddenly nervous. not a bad nervous. it doesn't make much sense, but - there are a lot of things about being on this planet that don't make sense. ]
It was the truth about my family. That much was real. Though I cannot explain... how it feels real when I thought it just a dream.
[ her eyes soften with sadness again and some of the anxiety fades, burned away with the knowledge that he did actually tell her all that and it wasn't simply a figment of her imagination. ]
It's this bullshit, [ she says, gesturing between their chests with her free hand. that has to be the explanation. ]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
@jyn.erso
Did we die again?
no subject
That is not funny. Where are you?
no subject
I'm in the bathroom. Did you just wake up?
no subject
Not long ago, yes. Did you wake up in the bathroom?
no subject
no subject
Are you all right?
no subject
I'll be right there, sit back down.
no subject
[ he totally was. ]
➙ action
Liar.
no subject
Spy.
[ so! it's his nature, whatcha gonna do. ]
no subject
I'm fine. Not so much as a scratch.
[ weird headache and some ??? texts from daisy, but. she's fine. no wounds to speak of though her arm is aching like it was mauled and she is being very ginger with it. ]
no subject
Are you sure? Did something happen to your arm?
[ how did he notice in these few seconds that she is being extra careful with her arm movements?? a mystery.mp3 ]
no subject
Everyone is here.
[ she is positive he already knows and has been keeping tabs on the post. not everyone was a volunteer. ]
no subject
[ NICE TRY ERSO. ]
I noticed that, yes. If I am not mistaken, we were supposed to be only roughly two dozen. There does not seem to be a reason for everyone to be on board now, only that we have all woken up this way - similarly to mysteriously getting pushed out of the van, sans the drugs.
no subject
[ her lips purse but she gives into his gd look. ] It was hurting when I woke up, but nothing is there.
no subject
[ he frowns, peaking at her arm again. ]
You promise that is all? [ listen! if she can get big mad about his back, he can be Concerned for her arm!! ]
no subject
[ she holds out her arm for him to examine at his leisure because a. she knows he isn't going to entirely believe him about being uninjured because she has a tendency to ignore and b. she doesn't know how to prove it otherwise since her arm really isn't visibly injured. ]
no subject
[ it's not that he forgets that touching people creates that empathy bond so much as maybe he doesn't always factor it in to his defenses when he's with jyn. which is why he's surprised when he gets that wave of comforted feelings, almost exactly what he'd felt in the dream when she'd taken his hand. it tempers his own concern though, and he realizes she can probably tell. ]
[ he pulls his hand back and mumbles an apology. ] I suppose I do not see anything.
no subject
stuck with her. ]
Did you dream of snow, Cassian?
no subject
[ the biggest thing he feels right now is surprise. the comfort he gets from her touch tempers it, but he's still puzzled that she would want to keep holding him. it doesn't mean it isn't reassuring at the same time, especially once he feels the comfort she herself draws from it. ]
[ he's a comfort. that's a surprise too. ]
I did. Quite often, actually. But I am used to that happening.
no subject
Was I there?
[ she remembers snow and cassian and this feeling -- warmth and comfort and closeness -- but. maybe it was simply her own dream. maybe she invented the stories of his family to make herself feel less alone, like they are more alike, like someone else understands being alone for so long that the parts of you that know how to care for someone else, how to be cared for, start to atrophy from years of disuse.
or maybe it was real and the parts of her that had died to protect herself from a lifetime of loss and abandonment can be slowly coaxed back to life. ]
no subject
For part of it, yes.
[ he remembers it too - that comfort and closeness and ease at being with her, the touch of her hand that allowed him to push forward inside his house, something that always makes him apprehensive in dreams. ]
Do you - remember what I told you?
[ it doesn't seem possible, but there are a lot of things about this train ride already proving impossibilities exist. he finds, maybe against any better judgement, that he wants her to remember. there was something about sharing that entire experience with jyn that he suddenly wants very much to be a real thing. ]
no subject
[ she really would like it to have been real, some shared delusion in the snow. it would be the only redeeming quality of the snow. there's a frisson of anxiety, that cassian is going to tell her that none of it was true and he really spent the dream telling her about ducks across the galaxy. ]
Was it real?
no subject
[ he breathes in a little deeply, like he's suddenly nervous. not a bad nervous. it doesn't make much sense, but - there are a lot of things about being on this planet that don't make sense. ]
It was the truth about my family. That much was real. Though I cannot explain... how it feels real when I thought it just a dream.
no subject
It's this bullshit, [ she says, gesturing between their chests with her free hand. that has to be the explanation. ]
Thank you for telling me about them.
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)