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[evasives]

c.andor
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[evasives]

I've been on my own since I was six. My grief is more dull than gone, but I have had to continue living.

[spellslots]

thats kinda how life works huh
im kinda shit at this do you want cupcakes

[The only way he knows how to comfort people is affection or food and he doesn't think Cassian wants affection.]

[evasives]

Life with war, at least.

I will never say no to cupcakes. Can you even bake while drunk?

[spellslots]

we werent at war back then shit just sucked

[He doesn't talk about his aunt a lot, because he doesn't talk about losing people he cares about.]

i can sure fucking try or like i could do something easier? regular cake?

[evasives]

The Quarantine is the first time I can remember not being at war.

Try a cake this time, cupcakes the next. Be the drunk scientist you've always wanted to be.

[spellslots]

we started a war
we didnt mean to but we did

[Now they're both making it sad.]

barry's a drunk scientist im a drunk arcanist

[evasives]

I suppose that's marginally better than starting a war on purpose.

You can still be an experimental drunk arcanist.

[spellslots]

thats why lucretia took our memories

very dangerous but whatever im gonna date death might as well live dangerously

[evasives]

You can wipe memories with magic too?

Living dangerously does not seem like a problem when you can also revive yourself.

[spellslots]

voidfish not magic. unless that fucker is magic we never really figured it out. didnt you know?

[He feels like he's told a few people about this, but sometimes he loses track of who knows.]

right? i mean dying hurts but its not a big deal

[evasives]

I have never heard you use the phrase voidfish before, so that is a no.

It is when you cannot come back.

[spellslots]

space jellyfish that eats memories unless youve drunk water that its lived in. lucretia was immune so she fed 100 years of our memories and all my memories of lup to it
it was fuuuuucked up

i mean yeah for sure. we were lucky with the not dying for keeps. it'd suck to die for real

[evasives]

Have I ever told you that your universe sounds terrible sometimes? Fucked up is putting it mildly. At least it seems you got them back.

[people from his own galaxy know he's dead, it's common knowledge and rebellion legend, that sometimes cassian forgets?? other people don't know?? so sorry taako it's a bad thing to mention while you're drunk but maybe that also makes it the PERFECT time.]

It does.

[spellslots]

after a decade

[Cassian is smart, he knows how important Lup is to him, and Taako figures he might understand everything that's layered under that simple statement. How much it changed him.

But also:
hwat the fuck Cassian]

oh
fuck
well that definitely fucking sucks

[evasives]

Even one year would be too long.

[yeah, he gets that Immediately. he doesn't need to have a sibling to understand what something like that would have done to taako. how Terrible.]

[honestly!! is there any good time for this!! the real marvel should be that cassian is talking about himself!!! even if now he doesn't know what else to say, good job.]

That's the feeling in a nutshell, probably.

[spellslots]

yup

wow this got fucking depressing
im sorry you died though and like i dont know if this shit helps but im glad you're here

[evasives]

[his whole life is fucking depressing taako.]

I can say quite easily now that I am glad to be here too.

We died trying to stop the planetkiller, so I suppose it was worth... something.

[spellslots]

you deserve a second chance

[Maybe that's Too Much, but they can blame it on the booze.

He also doesn't miss that "we" and naturally assume Jyn, but he won't put Cassian on the spot by asking. If Jyn wants to tell him, she can.]

i get you, i kinda thought i'd died fighting the hunger cause the canister i got stopped after the world went white
but i guess we got one more chance

[evasives]

[does he tho??? cassian is still grappling with what he does or doesn't deserve, but hearing he deserves it from someone who is not jyn is... weird. not a bad weird, maybe even a nice weird.]

I don't think this place cares about what we deserve.

But I am using it for another chance regardless. I would not have one otherwise. There's some kind of phrase about taking what you can get. Taking the chances you get until they are gone.

[spellslots]

i dunno, the portal couldve picked you for a reason

[The portal used to be alive, maybe it's still able to make some kind of choice.]

thats how you gotta do it. take whatever you can get your hands and do the best with it

[evasives]

If the Portal has a mind of its own, it seems ill likely I would cross it.

I have no complaints, at least. I have plenty of experience in making the best out of anything.

[spellslots]

it does seem to have a thing for pretty people maybe thats it

[its a joke]

thats good, my man. i hope like, i hope you're happy here, or that you get there eventually. you're a good dude

[evasives]

[WELL HE LAUGHS even if taako can't see it or hear it and it's vaguely self deprecating anyway.]

[but stop telling him he's good and deserves second chances, he doesn't know what to do with any of that! time to deflect.]

Are you always this sentimental when you're drunk?

[spellslots]

not always but i have my reasons

[evasives]

Which are?