No, I'm fine. [ cheerfully fine, not combatively fine. she's very light and sunny, which is a far cry from her normal guarded countence, but just a little more of the softness cassian gets to see -- when she spots a squirrel or he finds her talking to her plants.
she steadies herself on the door before she moves forward, climbing up to sit crosslegged on their bed. the world is much less swimmy once she's sitting down again. ]
[ this is a level of happy and cheery that cassian is largely unfamiliar with in jyn. it's not... bad. just different? it's nice to see her smiling. it's been a rough time adjusting to the dirt planet. ]
[ he shoots her a small smile of his own. ] Informative. [ a beat. ] It is poetry, but it still informative, especially about how people understand this apparent disaster climate.
Did you have a good night out? [ she 100% did, but he wants to ask anyway. ]
I did. Marcos and I tried every single free moonshine they had on offer and I gave a free drink to a stupid drunk man and he tipped me so I made money.
[ he has a lovely smile, she wishes she got to see it more often. maybe cassian needs to get drunk. she makes a mental note to get cassian to drink with her. she forgets the mental note literally seconds later. ]
[ he... almost laughs. it's more like a puff of air, but it probably counts. there are a lot of things he could maybe ask her and get honest answers, so he settles for a good one. ] Did you find a favorite in your sampling?
[ even though she probably won't remember this conversation tomorrow, he does give her question genuine thought. ] Rarely. It is hard to remember anything recent.
[ she pats the bed in front of her, she wants cassian to be near her but she doesn't know how to say that correctly. and he is blurry, so that works too. ]
I didn't like any of them, I hate the taste of alcohol. But I like only feeling good things. [ it turns out jyn is the kind of drunk that lets all the bad shit slide when she is drinking, the hatch in her mind stayed locked shut and it was only warmth and fuzzy feelings. ]
[ she doesn't, but he climbs to his feet anyway, moving over towards the bed and settling in almost exactly where she'd gestured. ]
[ he is happy she is happy and feeling good things. cassian has his own reasons for preferring to avoid alcohol, but he's also built up quite the tolerance over the years. ] I cannot imagine many people drink it for the taste. I am glad you are feeling good right now though.
Mmm. [ she is happy that he is sitting with her, smile turning softer. she glosses right over talking about drinking because honestly she thinks it's stupid. the alcohol should taste good if it's going to make her feel good, she doesn't know why they have to be mutually exclusive. ]
[ jyn puts her hands on his shoulders with the kind of seriousness and gravitas that only drunk people and toddlers can manage, earnest and a little concerned. is she speaking basic? is he speaking basic? has he been speaking his native tongue this whole time and she never noticed because of the auto-translate? no, no, she shakes her head in the middle of this silent conversation with herself. no, that can't be true, because it doesn't translate her huttese swears so it wouldn't translate a language from fest. or from grange. does she remember anything of her father's language?
she singsongs a grange lullaby, not realizing she is doing so aloud, and nods when she decides that, yes, she does remember her father's language. ]
Cassian. [ she says his name again like she's preparing for a test. ] Read me a poem.
[ he doesn't know what to expect when she reaches for him, but he's never really thought about a drunk jyn before and what she might be like. he hadn't theorized anything, hadn't the time. ]
[ he can almost see her thoughts going off in a distracted direction in the pause between his name and her clarification. but it's the lullaby that has him smiling a little more, confusion wiped off his face. ]
If you insist. [ he'd move her hands, but he still feels weird about initiating contact sometimes, so he just scrolls back through the collection he was reading to find his favorite so far. it's all very weird since it's all neural and it probably just looks like he's staring into space, or at her. ]
[ he picks one about trees to read aloud. she'd probably like that, she loves her plants. ]
[ luckily for him, once he agrees to read to her, jyn draws her hands back and gets comfortable to settle in and listen, gathering one of their pillows in her lap. it turns out she could listen to cassian read to her all day because once he is done with one poem, she requests another. and another. and another. and... ]
One more? [ he should probably cut her off now because she shows no sign of wanting to change the subject and move along to something else. drunkenness doesn't translate to a complete lack of attention span for jyn. ]
[ maybe he indulges her again and again simply because he doesn't want to turn her down and ruin this happy high she's found herself on. it's weird to be reading without anything physical in hand, but maybe it's just weird to read aloud in general. ]
[ has he ever done it, for actual leisure? ]
[ but eventually he does awkwardly sort of grin and duck his head, putting a pause on it. ]
Next time? [ not next time she gets drunk. just... another time, sometime. ]
[ normally he might roll his eyes at her and tell her to get the pants herself, but all he does instead is just roll his eyes and stand up. as much as he wants to watch her attempt to walk back across the room to the closet, he'll be nice. ]
[ her pants are abandoned to the usual spot on the floor, so he leans over to scoop them up - noticing the strange new bag in the process. he grabs that too and walks back into the bedroom, tossing the pants at her face while holding up the bag too. that one does not get thrown, fortunately. ]
I hope you did not accidentally overdraft in your drunken shopping spree. Did you buy more seeds?
I have credits to spare, [ she grouses, laying down so she can shimmy out of her pants without having to get up. she has all the grace of a drunk hippo and it takes much longer than necessary but eventually she is free! of her trousers!
and just lays on the bed for a little bit because that was a lot of effort. ]
[ he is completely unfazed by her no pants life. it's virtually the same in the mornings. ]
[ he is especially unconcerned because he's not sure he heard that right. it's... for him. it's something for him? she bought something for him? he stands surprised with the bag in his hand like he doesn't know what to do with it, because he can't remember the last time someone gave him a gift. he is holding it but he still doesn't know if he believes it. ]
she is pretty sure she isn't slurring her words or talking nonsense so doesn't know why he is clarifying something she was very straight-forward about. yes, she bought it for him and it was so much effort, mostly just the walking there because she and marcos kept getting distracted like
well, like drunk twenty-somethings with very sad lives. ]
[ he pulls the bag closer, like it's suddenly more valuable, and pulls it open with both hands. whatever it is, it's shoved in haphazardly and reaches in to tug it out. ]
[ it's a jacket, he realizes, right before it unfolds. a pretty nice one, some kind of leather. cassian knows he always kept more coats than strictly necessary, but it was always the one luxury he allowed himself - one that he could also say was a necessity. ]
[ and she got him one. ]
[ he's biting on a smile. ] You got me a jacket. I thought you said I already had too many?
[ she's looking at the ceiling, but her arm flicks out toward the closet as if to indicate how half the closet is cassian's jackets and 1/8th is jyn's three sets of clothing. it's still a paltry collection considering how enormous the closet is, all their clothes -- jackets included -- fit in one corner while the rest of the bars hang empty. ]
Try it on.
[ marcos is taller and broader than cassian so it was a snug fit on him, but it should fit cassian very well. ]
[ again, he indulges her, dropping the bag to the floor and pulling the jacket on over his shoulders. ]
[ it does fit, almost perfectly. it's loose enough that he can hide things in the pockets without a bulge, but not too loose that it flaps in the wind like a cape. zipping it up, he tugs on the sleeves, adjusting it as his smile finally breaks out, however small and restrained it is. ]
[ he holds out his arms. ] It fits. [ a beat. ] Why did you get me a jacket?
[ jyn props herself up on her elbows to look at him, head tilted to the side thoughtfully. and because she can't keep it up straight. ]
You didn't have one for cool weather. [ for warm weather, yes. for cold weather, yes. for wind and snow and, really, for every type of weather. cassian is prepared for anything, plans on plans on plans. but he didn't have a jacket for cool weather once the sun has gone down. ]
[ it's such a practical reason and it makes him feel warm anyway. she's right, he hadn't gotten this kind of jacket yet, but he's maybe surprised she'd noticed, however small their collection of personal clothes are. it would be easy to notice. ]
Are you looking to put on a fashion show? [ he still doesn't know how to deal with how this is making him feel, and she's still drunk, so making a joke is clearly the logical step.]
Yes. [ she hums into a smile, pleased that making marcos try on the jacket was successful because it hits cassian in all the right places that had been slightly off on her taller friend.
she flops back on the bed, satisfied, and wrestles with her sleep pants. she is not so far gone that she needs cassian's help there but it's a close thing. she stares up at the ceiling again like it holds the secrets to the universe and smacks her hand on the bed again. ]
[ oh no another smile!! what is happening, why does that look on her face make him feel so warm. it's definitely the jacket. it's too warm in here to be wearing a coat! ]
[ and then he feels weirdly nervous about sitting beside her, but it doesn't stop him from walking back over, even if he stops at the foot of the bed first. ]
Can I take this off first or is the show still in progress?
[ why is this entire situation somehow both weird and utterly normal at once? what is he saying?? what is even happening here?? how much longer can he possibly play it cool?? ]
[ jyn lifts up on her elbows to look at cassian and debates it with a studious, solemnity that resembles her father so much that it would be hard to say she inherited it from anyone else. ]
You may take it off.
[ she flops back on the bed, short hair fanning out around her head. ]
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she steadies herself on the door before she moves forward, climbing up to sit crosslegged on their bed. the world is much less swimmy once she's sitting down again. ]
How is your book?
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[ he shoots her a small smile of his own. ] Informative. [ a beat. ] It is poetry, but it still informative, especially about how people understand this apparent disaster climate.
Did you have a good night out? [ she 100% did, but he wants to ask anyway. ]
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[ he has a lovely smile, she wishes she got to see it more often. maybe cassian needs to get drunk. she makes a mental note to get cassian to drink with her. she forgets the mental note literally seconds later. ]
Do you ever do anything just because?
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[ even though she probably won't remember this conversation tomorrow, he does give her question genuine thought. ] Rarely. It is hard to remember anything recent.
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[ she pats the bed in front of her, she wants cassian to be near her but she doesn't know how to say that correctly. and he is blurry, so that works too. ]
I didn't like any of them, I hate the taste of alcohol. But I like only feeling good things. [ it turns out jyn is the kind of drunk that lets all the bad shit slide when she is drinking, the hatch in her mind stayed locked shut and it was only warmth and fuzzy feelings. ]
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[ she doesn't, but he climbs to his feet anyway, moving over towards the bed and settling in almost exactly where she'd gestured. ]
[ he is happy she is happy and feeling good things. cassian has his own reasons for preferring to avoid alcohol, but he's also built up quite the tolerance over the years. ] I cannot imagine many people drink it for the taste. I am glad you are feeling good right now though.
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Will you read me some of the poetry?
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You want me to read to you?
[ he is caught off guard and maybe a little baffled by it. ]
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[ jyn puts her hands on his shoulders with the kind of seriousness and gravitas that only drunk people and toddlers can manage, earnest and a little concerned. is she speaking basic? is he speaking basic? has he been speaking his native tongue this whole time and she never noticed because of the auto-translate? no, no, she shakes her head in the middle of this silent conversation with herself. no, that can't be true, because it doesn't translate her huttese swears so it wouldn't translate a language from fest. or from grange. does she remember anything of her father's language?
she singsongs a grange lullaby, not realizing she is doing so aloud, and nods when she decides that, yes, she does remember her father's language. ]
Cassian. [ she says his name again like she's preparing for a test. ] Read me a poem.
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[ he can almost see her thoughts going off in a distracted direction in the pause between his name and her clarification. but it's the lullaby that has him smiling a little more, confusion wiped off his face. ]
If you insist. [ he'd move her hands, but he still feels weird about initiating contact sometimes, so he just scrolls back through the collection he was reading to find his favorite so far. it's all very weird since it's all neural and it probably just looks like he's staring into space, or at her. ]
[ he picks one about trees to read aloud. she'd probably like that, she loves her plants. ]
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One more? [ he should probably cut her off now because she shows no sign of wanting to change the subject and move along to something else. drunkenness doesn't translate to a complete lack of attention span for jyn. ]
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[ has he ever done it, for actual leisure? ]
[ but eventually he does awkwardly sort of grin and duck his head, putting a pause on it. ]
Next time? [ not next time she gets drunk. just... another time, sometime. ]
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Can you get my sleep pants?
[ if she gets up, she will not stay straight. she also wants water and a snack and a fluffy pillow, no she has a fluffy pillow. ]
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[ her pants are abandoned to the usual spot on the floor, so he leans over to scoop them up - noticing the strange new bag in the process. he grabs that too and walks back into the bedroom, tossing the pants at her face while holding up the bag too. that one does not get thrown, fortunately. ]
I hope you did not accidentally overdraft in your drunken shopping spree. Did you buy more seeds?
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and just lays on the bed for a little bit because that was a lot of effort. ]
It's for you.
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[ he is especially unconcerned because he's not sure he heard that right. it's... for him. it's something for him? she bought something for him? he stands surprised with the bag in his hand like he doesn't know what to do with it, because he can't remember the last time someone gave him a gift. he is holding it but he still doesn't know if he believes it. ]
You got me something?
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[ not him.
she is pretty sure she isn't slurring her words or talking nonsense so doesn't know why he is clarifying something she was very straight-forward about. yes, she bought it for him and it was so much effort, mostly just the walking there because she and marcos kept getting distracted like
well, like drunk twenty-somethings with very sad lives. ]
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[ it's a jacket, he realizes, right before it unfolds. a pretty nice one, some kind of leather. cassian knows he always kept more coats than strictly necessary, but it was always the one luxury he allowed himself - one that he could also say was a necessity. ]
[ and she got him one. ]
[ he's biting on a smile. ] You got me a jacket. I thought you said I already had too many?
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[ she's looking at the ceiling, but her arm flicks out toward the closet as if to indicate how half the closet is cassian's jackets and 1/8th is jyn's three sets of clothing. it's still a paltry collection considering how enormous the closet is, all their clothes -- jackets included -- fit in one corner while the rest of the bars hang empty. ]
Try it on.
[ marcos is taller and broader than cassian so it was a snug fit on him, but it should fit cassian very well. ]
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[ it does fit, almost perfectly. it's loose enough that he can hide things in the pockets without a bulge, but not too loose that it flaps in the wind like a cape. zipping it up, he tugs on the sleeves, adjusting it as his smile finally breaks out, however small and restrained it is. ]
[ he holds out his arms. ] It fits. [ a beat. ] Why did you get me a jacket?
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You didn't have one for cool weather. [ for warm weather, yes. for cold weather, yes. for wind and snow and, really, for every type of weather. cassian is prepared for anything, plans on plans on plans. but he didn't have a jacket for cool weather once the sun has gone down. ]
Turn around.
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Are you looking to put on a fashion show? [ he still doesn't know how to deal with how this is making him feel, and she's still drunk, so making a joke is clearly the logical step.]
[ he still turns around though. ]
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she flops back on the bed, satisfied, and wrestles with her sleep pants. she is not so far gone that she needs cassian's help there but it's a close thing. she stares up at the ceiling again like it holds the secrets to the universe and smacks her hand on the bed again. ]
Come back.
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[ and then he feels weirdly nervous about sitting beside her, but it doesn't stop him from walking back over, even if he stops at the foot of the bed first. ]
Can I take this off first or is the show still in progress?
[ why is this entire situation somehow both weird and utterly normal at once? what is he saying?? what is even happening here?? how much longer can he possibly play it cool?? ]
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You may take it off.
[ she flops back on the bed, short hair fanning out around her head. ]
Do you think we actually died?
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