Figure it out together, that's what I meant! Force, you're so nosy. I'll tell you what I like, alright, when I kriffin' figure it out. Are you happy now?
[ he's like a fussy mama goat and she just wants to be making out!!! why does he always have to know things! ]
[he should be happier. he is happy she agreed to it, and he believes her, no qualms there.]
[is he being nosy? he doesn't know how to do this. not sex, he knows that, but this talking and real intimacy and knowing the other person so well during. maybe winging it is how it's supposed to go, if she's going to keep waving off everything he says.]
You did not say that. [he mumbles it, tucking away all his questions and thoughts once again as he presses his face back into the cradle of her neck. some of it is selfish reasons, because now she can't see his face, but he kisses her there again just like she wants.]
no, that-- jyn sighs, unhappy. shoulders somehow managing to slump into the couch even though she's already laying down. ]
Cassian, stop kissing me.
[ she knows he will so she doesn't nudge him away from her. if he wants to keep hidden, tucked under her chin, she wouldn't blame him at all. honestly she would prefer that. ]
I was a teenager and we were idiots. It lasted... three minutes and it probably was terrible. I don't know how to navigate any of this because I never had to. I don't know what I want and I don't know what I do or do not like, but I know you'll take care of me so it didn't seem like something I had to really worry about.
[he stops immediately when she tells him to, but he doesn't move, keeping himself buried there like he is burying so many other things.]
[still, he does find himself relaxing the tiniest bit once she actually expands and explains herself. it's another little piece of her he hadn't known before.]
[and she trusts him. he knows this, but hearing her say it now is both a comfort and an oddity.]
I trust you too. [he says it into her neck. there are a lot of parts of him that feel open to her right now. it's scary, but she says she trusts him and it reminds him of the same.] Thank you, for telling me.
[he hesitates.] It has not been as long, for me. But - I don't want you to worry. I'm glad you aren't. Hopefully we can move you beyond 'probably terrible.'
[there. maybe that will get them back on track. he's not really sure how to navigate the finer, more emotional parts - but he can probably handle the physical.]
We are definitely okay. [he means that! he has no reason to believe otherwise.]
[for about two seconds, there is a flash of confusion on his face. like he doesn't understand why someone would ask that question. but he smooths it out into a smile, because what he wants is right in front of him. it's her.]
I will. Right now I want to... kiss you. And keep kissing you. I want to figure out what you like and see what happens along the way.
[ good, she is into that. this is a plan she can get behind. they're gonna smooch all night and it's going to be probably not terrible. it's already -- aside from the talking -- been great. ]
[as much as part of him would like to just talk more, about this, about them, about anything, the other part of him is still pressed up against her, and the moment she says kiss me then, it's all he can think about.]
[so he does, leaning down to kiss her again. unlike the usual, he does not start off gentle or slow this time; he tries to pick up exactly where they left off, tracing his tongue along the seam of her lips.]
jyn's lips part almost more in surprise than in answer but she finds her bearings quickly enough, surging forward, arms tangling around his chest against to hold him against herself. no escape. her fingers press hard into the muscles of his back as she breathes in, breathing him in.
[cassian is memorizing all the ways she reacts, taking careful note of what she seems to like more. his hand slides out and he cradles her face, basking in the sensation of the way she pulls him flush to her. it sends a little shiver down his spine, because it's not like he regularly gets this physically close to people.]
[he bites at her lip, then rolls his hips a little against hers. they're close enough that it sort of presses everything a little closer for a second, but he doesn't think she'll mind. she likes the clutch of it enough already!]
[ the noise she makes when he presses against her is shameful, or would be if jyn was capable of such a thing. it's nearly lost in the kisses, but it's there, and her fingers hold tighter, nails just beginning to press in.
tiny little crescent moons to complement his scars. ]
What do you like? [ it's breathed out, interrupted by breathy little noises, punctuated by her knee dragging up his thigh, opening up more room for him between her legs. ]
[these are all sorts of noises he is kind of falling in love with. even without words, it tells him a lot about what she might like.]
[he doesn't like her question. it's the second time she's confronting him with what he wants and likes and he doesn't have an answer. he isn't even making as much sound, just quieter even if he's breathing hard.]
[her leg moves, and he wants to wrap them both around his waist, but they're still wearing pants. instead he tucks his own knee between her legs and slides it up high, just barely teasing and brushing against her.]
I like how you're holding me. [which is true. her grip is tight, just like his pants!]
[ her soft gasp is buried against his throat, stretching up to press her lips against his neck, grip winding tighter like she can drag him closer still and make him easier to reach.
she kisses up his neck, lips brushing against the coarse stubble across his jaw and stifling soft laughter when she remembers the brief minute that she'd managed to give him bail organa's prolific goatee. he'd said something, in the casual quiet of their tent, that she remembers now.
You would still do it now.
he was right, of course, and she proves it, kissing higher, pressing a warm, open-mouthed kiss behind his ear before catching his earlobe between her teeth, biting briefly, not enough to hurt, and letting it drag free as that faint laughter continues, breath warm against his skin. ]
[he's still a lot quieter than she is, even if he's categorizing how she sounds after everything he does. it's almost methodical, but in a very exploratory way.]
[he happily sighs when she kisses up his throat, allowing himself and her to just enjoy it, though he slides his knee up even higher, neatly pressing between her legs. it feels strange to just allow something nice for himself, so clearly he needs to make up for it.]
[she bites, unsurprisingly. she does in a fight, of course she would here too. he's not surprised, but he does inhale more sharply than intended, which is the real surprise for him. but she's laughing, and he finds himself smiling.]
[ the pressure is steady and broad, far from the pinpoint precision of her own fingers when she gets down to it, but it still does something funny to her, making her stomach flutter and her fingers dig into his back.
it feels indulgent, drinking in cassian like this, lingering in every kiss and breath. she's too distracted to take much note of what he might like aside from what he tells her but there's always next time. the thought of a next time, of many next times, makes her nerves feel like they've been shocked, a sizzle and then warmth. ]
What else would you like? [ a question but an offer. jyn is unaccustomed to the openness but it somehow comes naturally now. giving as much as she feels like she's taking. but then again, they'd always been partners. ]
[she asks him again, and he still doesn't have an answer. she wants... to do things for him? which is a common enough offer in the middle of sex, but coming from jyn it feels far more real. for his sake, not just because that's how people get off. he ducks his head back down to kiss her, because he wants to, but also because it serves as a good delay and distraction.]
I would like your pants gone soon. [all right all right, true facts that don't relate to him directly. but the way she keeps digging her fingers into his skin makes him feel like he's doing something right, like he wants to just keep going and hold on to that feeling like she's holding on to him.]
[ she would start on them herself but she doesn't want to let go until she has to, she likes the press of him against her chest and the feel of her bare arms curling around his back. cassian, however, is more than welcome to take her pants off. in fact, she thinks she might like it if he took them off. ]
[he smiles a little teasingly before kissing her again. he also does not want her to let go, so he decides he is going to do his fucking best to take her pants off without sitting up.]
[he hunches up, fiddling with the drawstring on her pants. unfortunately, he shifts his knee out from between her legs, simply because pulling her pants down is impossible if his own are in the way. he grips just under the waist of them, and he starts to shimmy them down, fingertips brushing over her skin and underwear and trusting her to help out as necessary. he gets them down to about her knees, but it's an awkward angle and he's terribly distracted by it - so he sort of stumbles. somehow. and falls forward to land on top of her with an oof that turns into a huff of a laugh.]
[it is worth it though, because her arms are still around him.]
[ pants around her knees, cassian with a face full of jyn's chest, she's not sure this is how it's meant to go, but the thrum of desire hasn't been dampened by the laughter or the smile splashed across her expression. she tuts, shaking her head. how does she find him even more attractive when he is a bumbling fool? ]
Honestly, Cassian, if you wanted your face in my chest you could have just asked.
[ it's with the chimes of laughter still that she manages to kick off her pants, trying not to knee cassian in the groin while she does so. that might kill the mood. ]
[he doesn't have it in him really to be embarrassed, because it's jyn. he's still comfortable, still smiling, and she's still laughing. she gets her pants the rest of the way off, and he brushes his fingers against her thigh, simply because that's close to where it landed. it's... nice, he realizes, to not have to worry about any kind of perfection in this. it's a little awkward, but it doesn't ruin anything.]
[before he can overthink it, he plants a kiss to the middle of her chest. he looks up, smiling almost sheepishly at her.] I could stay here for a little, if you'd like. Or come back up. Your call.
[ jyn bites her lip as his fingers trail up her thigh, releasing it when he looks up at her. it feels like an imprint of his lips are burned into her skin and her eyes are a little wider, a little brighter, pink beginning to blossom on her chest. ]
You can stay. [ a beat. ] If that is what you want.
[ it's not a question of wondering if he wants her -- she knows he does -- but he isn't answering her questions the way she wants so she is not above pressing the issue. she wants him to do what he wants because she wants to do everything. they're going to match in the end regardless. she doesn't have any standards to meet. ]
[he is temporarily distracted by the pink on her skin, but at least it's good for something because he abruptly realizes yes, he does want to stay there. he wants to map all her freckles and soothe all her scars.]
[he also does not miss her emphasis, and he probably can't get away with never telling her anything forever, so he offers her another smile. okay, fine. he can do this.]
I do. [he says it kind of quietly, almost like he's nervous to admit to it. he kisses her again over a faded scar to assuage those nerves.]
[ she shimmies her hips a little to more comfortably take his weight, drawing her knee up again to bracket him between her and the couch. her hands leave his back, one tucking her hair behind her ear, the other settling on his arm, lingering on his bicep because.
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Yeah, that's what I said.
[ in what universe, erso. ]
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In what language?
[jyn p l e a s e.]
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Figure it out together, that's what I meant! Force, you're so nosy. I'll tell you what I like, alright, when I kriffin' figure it out. Are you happy now?
[ he's like a fussy mama goat and she just wants to be making out!!! why does he always have to know things! ]
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[is he being nosy? he doesn't know how to do this. not sex, he knows that, but this talking and real intimacy and knowing the other person so well during. maybe winging it is how it's supposed to go, if she's going to keep waving off everything he says.]
You did not say that. [he mumbles it, tucking away all his questions and thoughts once again as he presses his face back into the cradle of her neck. some of it is selfish reasons, because now she can't see his face, but he kisses her there again just like she wants.]
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no, that-- jyn sighs, unhappy. shoulders somehow managing to slump into the couch even though she's already laying down. ]
Cassian, stop kissing me.
[ she knows he will so she doesn't nudge him away from her. if he wants to keep hidden, tucked under her chin, she wouldn't blame him at all. honestly she would prefer that. ]
I was a teenager and we were idiots. It lasted... three minutes and it probably was terrible. I don't know how to navigate any of this because I never had to. I don't know what I want and I don't know what I do or do not like, but I know you'll take care of me so it didn't seem like something I had to really worry about.
[ quietly, ] I trust you.
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[still, he does find himself relaxing the tiniest bit once she actually expands and explains herself. it's another little piece of her he hadn't known before.]
[and she trusts him. he knows this, but hearing her say it now is both a comfort and an oddity.]
I trust you too. [he says it into her neck. there are a lot of parts of him that feel open to her right now. it's scary, but she says she trusts him and it reminds him of the same.] Thank you, for telling me.
[he hesitates.] It has not been as long, for me. But - I don't want you to worry. I'm glad you aren't. Hopefully we can move you beyond 'probably terrible.'
[there. maybe that will get them back on track. he's not really sure how to navigate the finer, more emotional parts - but he can probably handle the physical.]
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[ just checking. she wants to keep going, but ugh she should probably keep talking to him if he wants her too but that sounds horrifying. maybe... ]
Will you tell me what you want?
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[for about two seconds, there is a flash of confusion on his face. like he doesn't understand why someone would ask that question. but he smooths it out into a smile, because what he wants is right in front of him. it's her.]
I will. Right now I want to... kiss you. And keep kissing you. I want to figure out what you like and see what happens along the way.
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[ good, she is into that. this is a plan she can get behind. they're gonna smooch all night and it's going to be probably not terrible. it's already -- aside from the talking -- been great. ]
Kiss me then.
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[so he does, leaning down to kiss her again. unlike the usual, he does not start off gentle or slow this time; he tries to pick up exactly where they left off, tracing his tongue along the seam of her lips.]
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jyn's lips part almost more in surprise than in answer but she finds her bearings quickly enough, surging forward, arms tangling around his chest against to hold him against herself. no escape. her fingers press hard into the muscles of his back as she breathes in, breathing him in.
she definitely likes this so jot that down. ]
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[he bites at her lip, then rolls his hips a little against hers. they're close enough that it sort of presses everything a little closer for a second, but he doesn't think she'll mind. she likes the clutch of it enough already!]
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tiny little crescent moons to complement his scars. ]
What do you like? [ it's breathed out, interrupted by breathy little noises, punctuated by her knee dragging up his thigh, opening up more room for him between her legs. ]
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[he doesn't like her question. it's the second time she's confronting him with what he wants and likes and he doesn't have an answer. he isn't even making as much sound, just quieter even if he's breathing hard.]
[her leg moves, and he wants to wrap them both around his waist, but they're still wearing pants. instead he tucks his own knee between her legs and slides it up high, just barely teasing and brushing against her.]
I like how you're holding me. [which is true. her grip is tight, just like his pants!]
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she kisses up his neck, lips brushing against the coarse stubble across his jaw and stifling soft laughter when she remembers the brief minute that she'd managed to give him bail organa's prolific goatee. he'd said something, in the casual quiet of their tent, that she remembers now.
You would still do it now.
he was right, of course, and she proves it, kissing higher, pressing a warm, open-mouthed kiss behind his ear before catching his earlobe between her teeth, biting briefly, not enough to hurt, and letting it drag free as that faint laughter continues, breath warm against his skin. ]
I like holding you.
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[he happily sighs when she kisses up his throat, allowing himself and her to just enjoy it, though he slides his knee up even higher, neatly pressing between her legs. it feels strange to just allow something nice for himself, so clearly he needs to make up for it.]
[she bites, unsurprisingly. she does in a fight, of course she would here too. he's not surprised, but he does inhale more sharply than intended, which is the real surprise for him. but she's laughing, and he finds himself smiling.]
I liked that too. [so like, she can keep biting.]
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it feels indulgent, drinking in cassian like this, lingering in every kiss and breath. she's too distracted to take much note of what he might like aside from what he tells her but there's always next time. the thought of a next time, of many next times, makes her nerves feel like they've been shocked, a sizzle and then warmth. ]
What else would you like? [ a question but an offer. jyn is unaccustomed to the openness but it somehow comes naturally now. giving as much as she feels like she's taking. but then again, they'd always been partners. ]
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I would like your pants gone soon. [all right all right, true facts that don't relate to him directly. but the way she keeps digging her fingers into his skin makes him feel like he's doing something right, like he wants to just keep going and hold on to that feeling like she's holding on to him.]
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Then why are they still on?
[ she would start on them herself but she doesn't want to let go until she has to, she likes the press of him against her chest and the feel of her bare arms curling around his back. cassian, however, is more than welcome to take her pants off. in fact, she thinks she might like it if he took them off. ]
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[he hunches up, fiddling with the drawstring on her pants. unfortunately, he shifts his knee out from between her legs, simply because pulling her pants down is impossible if his own are in the way. he grips just under the waist of them, and he starts to shimmy them down, fingertips brushing over her skin and underwear and trusting her to help out as necessary. he gets them down to about her knees, but it's an awkward angle and he's terribly distracted by it - so he sort of stumbles. somehow. and falls forward to land on top of her with an oof that turns into a huff of a laugh.]
[it is worth it though, because her arms are still around him.]
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Honestly, Cassian, if you wanted your face in my chest you could have just asked.
[ it's with the chimes of laughter still that she manages to kick off her pants, trying not to knee cassian in the groin while she does so. that might kill the mood. ]
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[before he can overthink it, he plants a kiss to the middle of her chest. he looks up, smiling almost sheepishly at her.] I could stay here for a little, if you'd like. Or come back up. Your call.
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You can stay. [ a beat. ] If that is what you want.
[ it's not a question of wondering if he wants her -- she knows he does -- but he isn't answering her questions the way she wants so she is not above pressing the issue. she wants him to do what he wants because she wants to do everything. they're going to match in the end regardless. she doesn't have any standards to meet. ]
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[he also does not miss her emphasis, and he probably can't get away with never telling her anything forever, so he offers her another smile. okay, fine. he can do this.]
I do. [he says it kind of quietly, almost like he's nervous to admit to it. he kisses her again over a faded scar to assuage those nerves.]
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[ she shimmies her hips a little to more comfortably take his weight, drawing her knee up again to bracket him between her and the couch. her hands leave his back, one tucking her hair behind her ear, the other settling on his arm, lingering on his bicep because.
she's shallow. ]
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