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[cassian opens up instantly under her mouth. he always starts out gentle, but it doesn't mean he doesn't match up with whatever jyn responds with. he sighs happily when she pushes into him, deepening the kiss eagerly.]

[her weight is warm and comfortable on him, and his hands tighten at her waist to settle her against him, to keep her as close as she clearly wants. it's like she's melting against him, and it's honestly one of the best things.]

[ settled snugly in his lap, satisfied she has all his attention, jyn lets her hands roam at will. her fingers slide through hair in need of a cut, nails grazing the nape of his neck. for someone that doesn't like being touched (or maybe she is so unused to it that she thinks she hates it), jyn sure likes touching cassian and being touched by cassian.

it's always a strange realization but she settles into it quickly now, licking into his mouth with reckless abandon. the same reckless abandon and stubborn determination that she approaches everything she is afraid of, like he's a challenge she wants to conquer. ]

[cassian isn't very used to being touched either, but he likes when jyn does it, whether it's her throwing her feet into his lap, or throwing her whole body into his lap. her roaming hands always send a little flutter through him, always surprised she seems to want to touch him.]

[she's throwing herself at him so eagerly he almost doesn't know what to do with it, except allow his hands the same urge to roam while he kisses her. his fingers dip under her shirt, and when she doesn't seem to object, they sweep further under and creep up her back, a little higher than he usually dares. it's like she's absurdly determined, and jyn always makes him feel like taking chances.]

[ she shivers under his hands, but smiles against his mouth, humming a pleased little noise. it's honestly disgusting how soft he makes her: weak in the knees, butterflies, feeling warm all over, the whole to do.

it's horrid.

and she doesn't try to stop it, pulling away the tiniest bit to speak before she's sinking down to kiss him again. ]

You can take it off.

[ it seems the best course of action. her shirt will eventually impede the progress of his hands and it makes more sense to remove the obstacle before it becomes an obstacle. no need to improvise, adapt, or overcome if she thinks ahead. ]

[he pauses against her mouth, drumming his fingers idly against her, because - because - ]

Are you sure?

[he knows, he knows, that jyn never does or says anything she doesn't mean, but it's not like they've ever lost any clothes before, no matter how into kissing they've gotten.]

[ why did he interrupt kissing for this garbage? ]

Cassian, take my shirt off.

[ maybe she shouldn't have phrased it as a casual option because he doesn't seem to have taken it as the request it was and now jyn has to be bossy. ]

[he huffs a little, because maybe she was pretty clear, but he can already tell she's going to get annoyed with his constant need to check in. which implies this is going happen again, and maybe he shouldn't be assuming. but she wants her shirt gone! he can talk about that later, he guesses. like everything else gets put off to talk about later.]

[he kisses her again to placate her, and maybe to get himself back on track.] I was going to.

[he grips the hem and tugs it up, and then he's abruptly confronted with the fact that she's not wearing a bra? he doesn't know how he missed that, but it takes him aback.]

[they've lived together so long that being around each other in underwear ceased being noteworthy, but there's all sorts of intent now, and she's naked from the waist up. he drops her shirt idly on the couch, but his eyes travel up the trail of scars and freckles across her chest, hands settling back at her waist. he wants to trace them all with his fingers, he's too distracted from kissing her by looking at her, sorry jyn.]

[ honestly, she's equally confronted by her lack of bra. she's been sick for so long he's lucky she bathed and brushed her teeth, everything else has been secondary since they woke up in the hospital.

jyn expected some... lingering gazes, she supposes, but the way cassian looks at her is unexpected.

it wasn't like she expected him to recoil from her map of scars, but she didn't expect him to be so, well, studious. he looks like he's preparing for a test, like he'll have to recreate her from memory, like he doesn't want to forget anything. it causes her voice to soften, even if her forehead wrinkles a little in disquiet. ]

What are you thinking so hard about?

[her voice lifts his attention back to her face, even if his thumb starts to move idly over her hip.]

You. [it spills out without thinking, but it's the easiest and an honest answer. he huffs out a self deprecating laugh, like he shouldn't be thinking about her even though she is sitting in his lap and is no longer in possession of a shirt.]

[maybe he does want to memorize her, but he doesn't know if he can say something like that.] I never noticed how freckly you are.

[that feels easier, even if she might hit him. he doesn't know what level of Feelings she wants here, but he's having a lot of them.]

[ her shoulders hunch, curling in on herself but it's not very pronounced and it doesn't seem to be because she's upset, there's something bashful about it. which is ridiculous! this is jyn kriffing erso! she is not bashful! she is reckless and determined and so impossibly stubborn and she had started this and she still wants to continue but she didn't think ahead, she didn't think about navigating the middle bits. ]

Terrible spy.

[ not noticing things. ]

[she hunches over like she's suddenly... shy, and it surprises him. she's surprising him a lot today.]

[but he gets over it quickly enough because he doesn't want her to stay that way. he understands why it might strike her odd now, because the momentum has slowed and this gray in between area is not either of their strong suits. one of his hands slides gently up her spine, like maybe he can soothe her into something more relaxed again.]

I didn't look as closely before. [he dances his fingers back down.] They are much easier to see now.

[ coaxing her back into relaxation is a moderate success, but it is honestly more the time passing allowing jyn to grow more used to the way cassian looks at her than anything he is actively doing. she's settling, adapting, and it gets easier to do with cassian all the time. ]

They're freckles, Andor. They're not that exciting.

[ a beat, eyes sparking with playful mirth as she glances down at his chest, arching an eyebrow. ] Have you got any?

[ she's seen him shirtless enough times to know the answer is yes and also that she can count them on one hand but, well. maybe he doesn't want to feel left out. he can take his shirt off, too. ]

[the fact that he is letting himself look at her so openly is new, but it's a good feeling. he doesn't want it to be anything else. he can feel her settling a little again, both from his hand and from the way she's still sitting on him.]

You're exciting. [he blurts it out before thinking he shouldn't?]

[but then she asks him about his own potential freckles and it's very clear what she wants out of him. he chooses to immediately go into that instead of drawing attention to sentimental blurts. the look on her face really affirms that choice.]

You are welcome to check again for yourself.

[by all means jyn, please take his shirt off too. let him join the no shirt party that is happening on their couch.]

[ jyn snorts a breath of a laugh at his sentimentality -- disgusting -- but blessedly makes no comment. she is exciting. instead, she focuses on pushing his shirt up his sides, easily dragging it up and over his chest and right over his head, dropping it next to them. it's easy with cassian because he doesn't slouch down into the couch, he sits up straight so she doesn't encounter much drag against the cushions. jyn wouldn't back down from any difficulty, but she appreciates his good posture making this easier for her.

her hands immediately go back to his chest once the shirt is gone, fingers skating over his abdomen, smiling a little to herself as the muscles twitch and shift under her touch.

instead of searching for those elusive freckles however, jyn surges forward to kiss him again, freckles forgotten. his mouth on hers is much more important, clearly, and she has plenty to time to explore every part of cassian's body. ]

[it's not the first time he's been shirtless before her. it's not even the first time he's been shirtless with her hands on him either, thanks to all those massages. but her hands are gentler now, his heart fluttering under her feather touch. it makes him want to feel more of her pressed against him.]

[he's briefly startled when she kisses him again, but the surprise doesn't last long because it's so normal of her to just dive back in. of course that's what she does. he meets her kiss with that same gusto, falling back in easily. his hands find the bare skin of her back, fingers in a grip like he wants to pull her in, and even though he tugs at her, he leaves just how much closer up to her.]

[he won't ask, but at least that will let him know what she wants.]

[ jyn is happy to sink in against him, incredibly responsive to even the slightest touch. she breathes out the faintest little gasp, lost in his mouth, when the hair on his chest tickles against her suddenly hypersensitive skin. her own hands slide back up, curling arms around his shoulders again. she loses her exploration but being pressed up against him makes her heart thud in her chest like a hurd of banthas and she can't say it isn't better.

it's amazing and they've only just gotten started. ]

Cassian? [ there's just one thing and she barely moves her mouth from his to murmur his name, not determined enough to fully pull away because it's not that important to verbalize, but it also probably is. ]

[he holds her against him when she easily slides into place there, letting out his own little sigh at the feel of her pressed into his chest. everything about this is already amazing. one hand sweeps up the bare expanse of her back before it settles neatly in the middle, the other firmly at her waist.]

Jyn. [he doesn't want to stop kissing her, so if she's going to pause to talk, he's going to take the opportunity to press a kiss to her jaw, moving his mouth along the line of it until he reaches her neck and letting his attention stay there.] What is it?

[ um how is she supposed to think while he is doing that? she doesn't, letting the feeling of his stubble against her cheeks distract her. eventually she has a squirm away, holding up a finger as if to say, gimme a second. her cheek feels warm from the friction of the stubble, she still can't think.

no. time to focus up, erso.

she doesn't straighten up, staying mostly pressed against him, fingers idly playing with the hair at the back of his neck without even thinking about it. ]

Before you ask, [ because she can almost feel his need to check in like it's an insistent kitten wriggling between them. she hasn't really decided what is happening, she hasn't really decided anything, winging it to the end, but: ] I want this.

[ softly, ] I want you.

[he stops immediately when she holds up her finger, even though his expression tells her he is clearly ready to start again as soon as she deems it all right to do so. the way she plays with his hair doesn't help. he's very fond of her new habit.]

[i want you, she says softly and something inside him freezes with the quietness of it. she isn't saying it strictly out of lust, or because of the heat of the moment. he searches her eyes like it can be explained in there, but he just finds her looking at him in that same soft way.]

[he wants to ask several more questions. why. why does she want him? what is this? what does she want? is she absolutely sure? can they name this, or will that just end it? his throat swallows them all up.]

[he lifts one hand and cups her cheek.] I want you too. [of that he is absolutely certain. maybe they don't need a plan. maybe he can just dive in. it's always easier with jyn. he buries all his questions, she doesn't want them.] And whatever this is.

Whatever this is, [ jyn agrees, feeling her cheeks burn from the steady way he's looking at her. she is now absolutely certain there was at least one broken heart on every planet he'd gone undercover; he's only looking at her and she feels like they've touched down on mustafar. ]

If you keep kissing me, you can ask me if I'm sure and I won't even complain.

[ c o m p r o m i s e.

he'd already told her in so many words that checking in is important to him and just because she is an uncommunicative mess doesn't mean she can't give cassian something he might need. her spoonful of sugar simply happens to come in the shape of his mouth. ]

Edited 2018-06-03 04:56 (UTC)

[something in him relaxes when she tells him he can ask. he didn't know he was holding it in, and it wasn't like he was going to avoid it entirely, but he would have tried to temper some of it. he wants her to be comfortable. she is uncomfortable when they talk. he's trying to find a middle ground.]

I'll do both. [he smiles, faintly, and brushes his thumb over her cheek.] Kiss you and ask you. Multiple times each.

[cassian's life was surrounded by lies and falsehoods and he never wants that involved in anything related at all to sex or intimacy. maybe they're winging it, but if he can ask along the way... maybe it's not so bad.]

[he leans in and kisses her softly. there's a question in it, like he's asking if it's okay to continue on. there. a middle ground.]

[ cassain had always tended to the ember of hope in her chest, whether he realized it or not, helping breathe life back into it until the flames exploded out of her during her speech to the council. they hadn't listened, they hadn't believed her, but cassian had, stoking the flames so diligently that not even the death star could extinguish them, carrying jyn in peace to whatever came next.

this is next.

the peace and hope have settled into her bones by now and she feels safe in cassian's arms, safe in the certainty that he will continue to care for her and her tiny little flickering flame -- even when she is being aloof and standoffish, even when she would rather run away than talk. she appreciates that he doesn't make her now, but the gentle kiss makes the fire in her chest burn bright. her fingers curl around the hand on her cheek, keeping him close.

whatever this is, whatever they are, whatever it will be... she doesn't care. they could go back to reading, they could keep going. jyn doesn't care because she has cassian and that is all she wants. cassian andor, all of him, and she kisses him back like somehow she can tell him that without saying anything at all. ]

[she grabs his wrist, and her touch is so warm and alive, she wants him to stay there, she wants him to be this close. there is something important in her kiss, but her hands are on him and she's pressed in tight against him; there's a lot happening here, and the message is lost. or maybe just smudged. he's important to her, that much is clear, and it's enough to get him kissing her with more purpose.]

I want you - [he doesn't move from her mouth while he speaks.] - and I want... more. With you.

[he lingers in a kiss because he can't resist it, not because he wants to use it to convince her. then he pauses it, just in case.] Is that okay? Is that what you want too?

Yes.

[ but she slides out of his lap, keeping a firm hold on him so that when she shifts to lay back on the couch he has to come with her; her hand is still on the back of his neck, his wrist is still held securely in her fingers. those fingers slide up his wrist, tucking around his hand so she can move it from cupping her cheek to cupping her breast. ]

Yes, I want more.

[ in case she wasn't being clear enough. ]

[he is so BEREFT when she she slips away from his lap, but he realizes where she's going within seconds and is placated. he moves with her, planting his knees on either side of her while she drags his hand down towards her chest.]

[yeah, okay, she definitely wants more. it's like a double reassurance, physical and verbal. he ducks in to kiss her immediately after, while his hand stays at her breast and the other comes to rest by her head for balance.]

Okay. [he gives her a teasing squeeze and drops himself down closer, pressing his hips to hers and smiling against her mouth.] Tell me, if you want to stop. I don't care when.

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